Couples Therapy

Almost all couples who come to us for couples therapy are asking for help with communication. Many couples find themselves having the same arguments again and again and may even start arguing about how they are arguing. Couples often get into communication patterns that are unhelpful. It may not even matter what the topic is, the same stuck pattern keeps surfacing.

These communication patterns can get in the way of communication and stop couples from feeling close and connected to each other. We help couples understand their unhelpful relationship dynamics so they can change the way they communicate and ultimately feel closer to one another.

When couple relationships are new, sex and romance can feel very easy. As time passes, and couples encounter increasing life responsibilities, children, financial burdens, career demands, or perhaps loss or illness, couples can start to feel disconnected. Many couples start to simply drift apart over time and no longer feel as emotionally close as they once felt. Couples will often avoid talking about this situation and things will feel “chilly”. Other couples try to talk about their difficulties but just don’t know to fix the problem. We help couples make sense of what is getting in the way of having the kind of intimacy they both want from the relationship.

When one partner has stepped out of the couple relationship in some way, the betrayal can feel devastating. Betrayal can involve sex with another, sexual interest with another, secrets shared outside the relationship or undisclosed financial commitments made by one partner. When couples come to us after a betrayal, emotions are often raw, and both couple members are feeling vulnerable. We help couples recover from betrayal and rebuild trust and connection. Later on in this repair process, we help couples understand the underlying problems and relational dynamics that existed in the relationship before the infidelity.

Many people feel embarrassed or awkward talking about sex. Of course, if you don’t talk about the problem, you usually can’t fix it. Couples come to us when they feel anxious about their sexual “performance”, when sex feels painful, or when it’s unfulfilling, when their sex drive may be lower than it once was, and they feel unhappy about that. Sometimes couples develop differing sexual interests, and they don’t know how to talk about it. Or maybe sex isn’t as easy as it once was before the baby, or after the surgery, or during life stressors, or as couple members age. We rely on decades of sexual science research to help couples have easier, more authentic and more fulfilling sex lives.